Employee is facing a personal crisis.
Balance between support and professional distance.
Employee facing a personal crisis – address with empathy while respecting boundaries.
Do you know the feeling? An employee suddenly becomes unfocused, makes mistakes, and seems downcast—but you’re unsure how to address the issue. Here, you will learn how to inquire sensitively without crossing personal boundaries.
When personal issues impact work.
You notice that Jennifer is not the same anymore. She used to be reliable and engaged, but now she makes careless mistakes and seems distracted. In meetings, she is quiet, and her eyes are often red. You sense that something is wrong – but how do you address it without being intrusive?
As a leader, you face a dilemma: on one hand, you want to help and show understanding; on the other hand, you need to ensure the quality of work. You wonder: Is it appropriate to ask about personal issues? Where are the boundaries?
People like Jennifer take their problems to heart. They are sensitive and process emotions intensely. When their personal lives become overwhelming, they can't simply "turn it off." They often withdraw because they don't want to burden others – yet they suffer in silence.
The key to understand is that Jennifer does not want to perform poorly. She is struggling with something bigger than her job. With the right approach, you can help her without invading her privacy.
Here’s how the conversation might go.
Two different approaches to the same sensitive topic.
The Direct Approach
You address Jennifer directly about her changed performance.
Jennifer, I've noticed that your work has not been up to the usual standard lately. What's going on?
I'm sorry... I know I make mistakes. I'm truly doing my best.
That's not enough. I need to understand the reason behind it. Are you facing personal issues?
I... that's none of your concern. I'll manage just fine.
Jennifer feels cornered and completely shuts down.
The empathetic approach
You express concern for Jennifer as a person before discussing work.
Jennifer, I've noticed that you don't seem to be doing well. I'm concerned about you.
Oh, it's just... everything feels a bit overwhelming right now. But I don't want that to affect my work.
I understand. You don’t need to explain what’s going on, but let’s see how I can support you.
That would be really helpful. Perhaps we could have a brief conversation?
Jennifer opens up, allowing you to find solutions together.
Jennifer Koch
INFP – "The Idealist"Jennifer takes everything very personally and has high expectations of herself. Criticism hurts her deeply, even when it's meant objectively.
Typical phrases: "I failed.", "That wasn't good enough."
💡 This personality type frequently causes the leadership problem "Employee is facing a personal crisis.".
In conversations with employees in personal crises.
What works for sensitive individuals and what is harmful.
Recommended Strategies
Proven approaches for effective leadership
"First, show genuine empathy."
Start with concern for the person, not with criticism of their work – this opens doors.
Offer concrete support.
Flexible working hours or remote work can be crucial during times of crisis.
Respect the Silence
If she doesn't want to talk, that's okay – pressure only reinforces withdrawal.
Conduct regular check-ins.
Brief, informal conversations demonstrate your presence without being intrusive.
Focus on the operational level.
Discuss specific tasks that are currently challenging and how you can address them together.
Pitfalls to Avoid
Common pitfalls and how to avoid them
Inquire about details immediately.
Sensible individuals need time and trust before they feel comfortable opening up.
Offering advice for personal life.
You are a leader, not a therapist – stick to your role.
Make comparisons with others.
"Others can do it too" particularly affects emotional individuals.
Tighten deadlines without consideration.
In times of crisis, individuals like Jennifer are particularly vulnerable to added pressure.
Ignore the problem.
Turning a blind eye won’t help – performance won’t improve on its own.
Prepare for empathetic employee conversations. Our AI characters respond like real people—with emotions, resistance, and unique personalities.
Frequently Asked Questions about this Leadership Challenge
Other leaders are asking themselves the same question.
How can I identify if my employee is an INFP personality type?
Why does my employee suddenly seem so disengaged and make mistakes – is this intentional?
How do I prepare for a conversation with an employee in a personal crisis?
How can I best initiate the conversation without my employee shutting down immediately?
What should I do if my employee becomes emotional or shuts down during a conversation?
What happens after the conversation – what should I keep in mind?
Does such a conversation actually help, or does it only make things worse?
When is a conversation no longer sufficient – when should I involve HR or seek external assistance?
How does AI training for challenging employee conversations work?
Is an AI role-play truly comparable to a real employee conversation?
How much time should I allocate for training?
Where can I find more information about the INFP personality type as a leader?
Overview of all leadership challenges
Each leadership problem requires specific solution approaches. Discover how to successfully master different challenges.
